Logs
by Sethoz
Summary: Poor, poor Trip. He never has much luck does he? -5th part is up!-
1. Lost Again

Disclaimer: this little ficci was inspired by reading and watching to much Enterprise. Then someone said to me; "Archer doesn't take very good care of his best friend does he." That got me thinking and BANG! This story was created.  
They took down my ficci Enterprise Chat! How could they. *sniff* Oh well. I don't own Enterprise, Trip or anything else I've stolen to use for this fic. If anyone wants to give me Trip for a prezzie, I won't say no... *smiles hopefully*   
Thanks to my beta "CJ", who very kindly beta-ed this.  
  
( ) = Actions.  
  
~@~  
  
  
Logs.  
  
  
~Lost... again...~  
  
  
Captains Log, supplemental.  
  
"I don't know quite how to say this, so I think I should start from the beginning. It all began a few hours ago, when I was planning the away mission to the gray planet beneath us. I had chosen myself, T'Pol and Malcolm. All I needed was one more person... Before I could chose, Trip was in front of me, his eyes at full puppy-dog blast.   
"Can I go Cap'n?" he begged. I knew I should have said no, there was no need for him to go...  
  
(A pause, footsteps can be heard as Archer paces back and forth.)  
  
I was still going to say no, I swear! But then he started to pout and before I knew it some... other force had taken me over!  
"Okay. Trip you can come." I said. I could have sworn I heard Trip mutter;  
"Jedi trick's work every time" but I must have been mistaken. After all I would know if Trip was a Jedi... not that there are any such things as Jedi anyway.  
  
(Another pause.)  
  
Anyway we all went down to the planet... I knew something would go wrong! I just knew it! But did any one listen to me? Noooooooo! I'm only the captain why would anyone take the blindest bit of notice over what I say? So we went down to the planet. Like I said before... That's when the trouble started. Computer end log.  
  
~@~  
  
Lt. Malcolm Reed's personal log.  
  
09:00: Started shift on bridge. No enemies, no need to use weapons. Nothing to report.  
  
13:00: The Captain made me take a brake and eat something from the mess hall. No hostiles between the bridge and the mess hall. Nothing to report.  
  
13:20: Back on the bridge. Had Eggs. No invading aliens while I was gone, so no need to use weapons. Nothing to report.  
  
15:00: Reached Tenuis 5. Gray planet with no human like life forms, just plants. Guess that means little chance to fire at anything. Nothing to report.  
  
15:30: Briefing. This away mission may not be as boring as I first thought. Commander Tucker is coming with us and the man is a magnet for trouble so I may get to do something. No sudden weapons blast by a clocked ship during the meeting. Nothing to report.  
  
16:00: Went down to the planet. Foggy. Kept an eye on the Commander but nothing seems to be happening. The the Captain sent me with T'Pol to check out a cave. No hostiles of any kind. Nothing to report.  
  
16:01: At last! Something to report! The Captain is calling a high voice. I wonder if some sort of three legged alien kicked him in his privates?  
  
16:02: No, that didn't happen.  
  
16:05: I don't bloody believe this! Commander Tucker has got lost... in the bloody fog! And do you know how?! Archer ran away from him! Now I've got to go and find him.  
  
~@~  
  
Sub-Commander T'Pol's log.  
  
The Commander got lost in the fog. When we found him, he had broken both his legs, with bruising all over his face and was delirious. He claimed he had been gone for days and was beaten. The Captain is beside him self with guilt saying he will never let the Commander out of his sight again. I wonder how long that will last?   
  
(Note to self: ask the Commander what the "Aliens" who kidnapped him looked like.)   
Why is it always the Commander?  
  
~@~  
  
Commander Tucker's personal Log.  
  
.. Oww... every part of me hurts. Parts of me that I didn't even know where parts of me hurt. I have bruises... and bruises on top of the bruises... and bruises on top of them. Well you get   
the picture.   
I know T'Pol will be over in a while to ask about my kidnappers. They were strange and they just giggled... about talked of things I didn't understand, such as;  
"Trip-Angst. Jon-guilt. T/Tu shipping." Maybe it's a new language.   
Why is it always me?  
  
~@~  
  
Captains Personal Log, Supplemental.  
  
Note: Get Trip a bell and a collar so we can always hear him.  
  
~@~  
  
~Fin?~   
  
Well there you have it. What do you all think? Please review and tell me;  
If you want another chapter, how brilliant it was, how bad it was etc.  
  
  
Sethoz-Chan. 


	2. Not Again

Disclaimer: Back by popular demand! Yes it's another chapter of 'Logs'! Also, another Malcolm entry, because some people liked the first one! And I'm typing this with a sore hand... I've just spent the day in A&E!! But I'm okay. I'll like to thank everyone who reviewed esp "zealousgirl",  
the most common line I use in reviews is 'Poor Trip' too! Thanks also to my lovely beta "CJ".   
Please read and review this... please!  
  
( ) = Actions.  
  
~@~  
  
Logs.  
  
  
~Not Again.~  
  
  
Sub-Commander T'Pol's personal log.  
  
It has been a week since the Commander was kidnapped. He is recovering and has returned to active duty. I have noticed that when he is taken, it is usually after a sufficent recovery time from the last encounter. Interesting...  
  
I have decided to conduct an experiment. I will keep an eye on the Commander to try and determine what it is about him that so many kidnappers find so appealing. Computer End log.  
  
~@~  
  
Captains Log, supplemental.  
  
Trip lost his bell and collar. How, I don't know...but he did.  
  
(Sudden pause.)  
  
That's odd. That's the second time in two days that I've heard this sort of... manic giggling. Can't seem to locate the source though. Did you hear it? Come on Porthos. If you heard it, tell me. Come on, TALK! Hmm... he won't talk, he's going to be a tougher nut to crack than I thought. But I know he knows what's going on, he looks too innocent! He's up to something... but what?  
  
More odd things have been happening lately. First of all, when I walked into the mess hall last night, the only person there was Trip. Not strange, you say? Here's the odd part. He had a bit of fruit. It was floating. As I watched it floated over to the other empty chair opposite Trip  
then back again. Trip was muttering to himself and it looked like he was practicing  
for something.  
  
"Trip?" I asked. He whirled around and the piece of fruit dissappered from view.  
  
"What are you doing?"   
  
"Nothing." He said and gave me a little wave. Funny but I couldn't seem to remember what I was saying... huh, never mind. Well better go, a Starship Captains job is never done!   
  
Computer End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
P.A's Personal Log, Password Required.  
  
Password... Cheese  
  
Woof! Woof, woof, bark! Whine, woof. Yip, whine, whine woof.  
  
End log, new password as... Yes_Cheese  
  
~@~  
  
Lt. Malcolm Reed's Personal Log.  
  
09:00: Started shift on bridge. No need to use weapons. Nothing to report.  
  
11:00: Sent to armory to do a weapons check. No aliens attacked me on the way there. No need to use my hand-to-hand combat skills. Nothing to report.  
  
12:30: Finished weapons check. Gave them all a quick clean. No shapeshifing aliens hidden among the weapons. Nothing to report.  
  
12:33: Crewman Cutler just walked in, saw the clean weapons and screamed. When I asked why she said; 'To bright!'. Not allowed to shoot members of the crew, sadly... nothing to report.  
  
12:34: Are the weapons too shiny? Well. Maybe a tiny bit. No need to use them so nothing to report.  
  
13:00: Mess hall. Crewman Cutler is wearing dark glasses. No mind control is being used in the hall. No need to save the day. Nothing to report.  
  
13:06: Weapons blast!!! The Enterprise has just been hit by an enemy crafts weapons. At last, something for me to do on this ship!   
  
13:07: Made it to the bridge in record time! No aliens managed to get between me and the bridge so was unable to blow them up. Nothing to report.  
  
13:10: The Enterprise has just taken a second hit. Out main docking bay was badly damaged. Still, I have a chance to use the weapons. Something to report!  
  
~@~  
  
Travis Mayweathers Personal Log,   
  
Today: Lot's of really cool stuff happened! None of it invovled me though, so I'm not sure what happened but it was "really cool".   
  
Anyway, at the moment the Enterprise is under attack from a random alien vessel. Great. Our main docking bay was hit. Then for some reason the other ship turned around and sped off in the other direction. At that moment, Malcolm turned an interesting shade of purple.  
  
"Wha..what?" he stuttered. "But, I was going to use my laser beam!!!"   
  
Suddenly one of the buttons on his desk began to flash and make a noise.   
  
"Uh... Captain." he said. "There's something wrong with out docking bay... it's going to blow up unless we empty all the stuff in it."  
  
I think I must have zoned out there as I'm sure Malcolm went on to explain WHAT was wrong  
but I didn't hear. I came crashing back to reality as the Captain gave a sigh.  
  
"What is in it?" Archer asked. I watched as Malcolm looked back down at his desk.  
  
"Nothing really. Just a few containers, a shuttlepod or two..." the list went on, but I kinda zoned out again. When I next looked up Archer was nodding.  
  
"Right. Where's Trip?" he asked. Every one shrugged. Archer sighed.  
  
"Fine. Malcolm do this without him. Someone find Trip."   
  
Malcolm gave a smile then opened the air lock and watched as things began to float out of the bay. Meanwhile the Captain was getting worried, Trip was nowhere to be found. I looked up and froze.  
  
"Uh... Captain?" I managed to croak out. Captain Archer didn't turn but still answered.  
  
"What is it Travis?" I tried to find my voice, but it just came out as a small squick. This made the Captain turn around. I pointed forward.  
  
"I found the Commander." There in space was Trip, in a spacesuit. He was floating in front of Enterprise, his arms crossed, looking very annoyed. The Captain voiced everyone's feelings with two words.  
  
"Oh. Crud."  
  
TBC....   
  
I'm asking you all nicely, please review!! Please, now you've read, review!  
  
Sethoz-Chan 


	3. Cheese is the path?

Disclaimer: Back by even more popular demand. Find out just why Trip was in space, the real force code and Archer's new plan to keep an eye on Trip. Oh yeah, I don't own Enterprise, Star Wars or anything else in this part.  
  
Umm... I'm not really sure what you mean 'PashminaFan'. What do you mean, what sort of name is 'Logs'? It's a title about the story which is told though the logs of people. What does everyone else think? Is Logs a silly title? Help me out here.  
  
Thanks to my beta CJ. You're the best!  
  
~@~  
  
Logs.  
  
~Cheese is the path...?~  
  
Commander Tucker's personal Log.  
  
It was my break. It was my stinking break. Why couldn't the Enterprise get hit on Malcolm's break or Hoshi's? Why always mine? It's like a big fat conspiracy. So I was sitting at my computer when a message flashed up on the screen. Before I had time to read it, lights began to flash. One of my staff ran up to me and told me there was a problem in the docking bay. Like the idiot I am, I told him I'll take care of it... wait did I close my message?  
  
~@~  
  
Crewman #63's personal log.  
  
How odd! There I was pushing buttons, looking busy, pretending to work when I was told to DO a job. I know and if that wasn't weird enough there was this message. It was flashing on the computer on Commander Tucker's desk and I had been told to turn it off. The title was seven words long and said;  
  
Cheese is the path to the darkside.  
  
Well, it's not my business now is it? Got to go, buttons need pressing, consoles need looking at and basically I need to pretend to be busy.   
End log.  
  
~@~  
  
Commander Tucker's Personal Log, Supplemental.  
  
So there I was in the docking bay trying to find out what was wrong. There was a panel behind the spacesuites but I couldn't find anywhere to put them - the Cap'n hordes stuff worst than a squirrel, I mean when is he going to need "Cat treats for kittens"? Would he get rid of it? Noooo.  
  
"But Trip, I might need that some day! Trip no, it had sentimental value!" Come on, a bag of cat treats has sentimental value?!  
  
Anyway as there was no room I put on one of the suits. Next thing I know Malcolm very kindly opened the docking bay doors and I got sucked outside. Still at least the cat treats are gone.  
  
Knowing the Cap'n though, he'll probably send out search parties for it.  
  
So that's why I'm floating in front of the Enterprise feeling just a bit angry. It was really not on my list of things to do toady; get blasted into space.  
  
I wonder if I can tune the spacesuites radio to get a message to Hoshi... humm... no that's not right... yuck Vulcan classical... ohhh, the interglatic air guitar competition! Yes!   
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Travis Mayweathers Personal Log,  
  
Still Today: Well there was the Commander floating in space when all of a sudden he began to jump up and down, headbanging and waving his arms about. It looked like he was playing an air guitar. Well it would have looked like that but he was floating in space and all.  
  
"What is... he doing?" The Captain asked in shock. Everyone shrugged their shoulders. Everyone that is, besides me.  
  
"I know!" I called, waving my hand in the air. I guess they just didn't hear me or see me because the Captain kept asking if anyone knew what Trip was doing and I kept saying that I knew but no one heard me. This deafness that keeps affecting people is really starting to get to me. There has to be a cure surely?  
  
Anyway they managed to get the Commander inside my using those hooks we have. Lucky really that Trip's spacesuite didn't get a hole.   
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Doctor Phlox's Medical Log;  
  
Spent most of today experimenting with all my pets to try and come up some fake cure I can use. Though maybe I don't have to try that hard; after all they did believe droppings were useful. I think if I mix the puss of my bat with the slime of my slugs I can get a sweet smelling mixture which I can pretend cures... space sickness. Yes that's it, space sickness.  
  
The Captain has just come in with the Commander. Apparently he went crazy in space, even though Mr. Tucker keeps saying he's fine. I can test my new mixture now!   
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Captain's Log;  
  
Stardate: ... uh... sometime.  
  
Turns out Trip didn't go crazy, he just tuned into the interglatic air guitar station. Though anyone who plays an air guitar is crazy. Prothos is sitting by my feet, brown eyes pleading, tail wagging. Before I knew what I was doing there was a bit of cheese in my hands and my dog looked very, very happy indeed. I was about to toss the cheese to him when Trip's disembodied voice floated across my ready room. He/It said;  
  
Cheese leads to fullness,  
Fullness leads to sickness,  
Sickness leads to... suffering.  
  
So I can either trust my dog or the invisible person who tells me cheese is bad. Here Prothos, catch! Computer,   
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Commander Tucker's Personal Log;  
  
I hate Malcolm for sending me out into space. I hate Archer for thinking I'm crazy but most of all I hate Dr. Phlox for giving me that medicine. He said it was 'Sweet smelling and sweet tasting' . If by sweet smelling he meant odor of elephant and by sweet tasting he meant worse that month old moldy rice pudding, then yes, the stuff was sweet.  
  
~@~  
  
Captains Log, Supplemental;  
  
Note: I've got it! I was reading about pet care in the twentieth century. To prevent pet owners from loosing there Cat's and Dog's vets would micro-chip them. A micro-chip contains information about who the pet is. Now if I could get something like that from Trip (though, naturally not a proper micro-chip) then we would stop loosing him.  
  
In theory at least.  
  
TBC...  
  
There you have it, the next part of Logs. Check back soon for part four in in which Trip meets a very heavy club that takes a intense liking to him and more.  
  
Coming Soon(ish): Part 4; Homing beacon. 


	4. Homing beacon

Disclaimer: Back again! Don't own Enterprise, yadda, yadda, yadda. Thanks to "pookha" who remined me about a certain epsidoe a couple of chapters back. Gave me a great idea for part of this so thanks! WAAA, Lightbulby29's cat is going to report me to PETA! Please, don't do it little cat, I'm sorry... ;) *Evil Laugh, turns into not so evil cough*  
  
Thank you so, so, so much to 'HopefulNebula', my gorgeous, wonderful, talented beta.  
  
Please, please read and review!  
  
Ahem - I have a notice here by order of "pookha" (Thanks again.)  
  
"beware consuming liquid beverages while reading this story..  
  
maybe hazardous to monitor and keyboard due to excessive snort of said liquid."  
  
Now... on with the story.  
  
~@~  
  
Logs. ~Homing beacon.~  
  
Captain's Log.  
  
I lost my cat treats! No, that's not quite right, Malcolm lost my cat treats. I can't believe he would be so immature as to blast my favorite thing in the whole wide universe into outer space. I'm the Captain! Me! I want my cat treats! I'm going to hold my breath until I get them...  
  
1... 2.. 3... 4... uhh... 5... the room looks funny... 6... 7... 8...  
  
~@~  
  
Dr. Phlox's Medical Log;  
  
The Captain was just brought in, completely out cold. I have no idea what's wrong with him or how to cure him. I'm just a doctor for crying out loud! I know next to nothing on human anatomy, why oh why did that stupid human pick me? Maybe if I poke this red thing... ohh... I wonder what this weird tube like thing does?  
  
Fascinating.  
  
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Lt. Malcolm Reed's personal log.  
  
10:00: Yelled at by the Captain for loosing his precious Cat treats. Captain fainted. No need to use weapons. Nothing to report.  
  
10:08: Started to search space for the lost treats. No ships were suddenly discovered with the sweeps, so no need to take sudden defensive action. Nothing to report.  
  
10:11: Bored, bored, bored. No sign of cat treats anywhere on the scanners. No aliens, nothing at all! Nothing to report.  
  
11:30: ZZZzzzzz.... Nothing to report.  
  
13:45: Something to report! Something to report!  
  
13:46: I forgot what it was I was going to report....  
  
14:00: I've remembered! Traces of cat treats found in space around a planet. We'll going down. Taking weapons. Good. Also taking Commander Tucker. Less good.  
  
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Commander Tucker's Personal Log, Supplemental.  
  
I feel very hurt.  
  
Not hurt literally. (That must be a record, it's been nearly two weeks and I haven't had an accident... Oh fudge. I've just jinxed it now, I'm going to get hurt in some way, shape or form. I sometimes hate my life. It's as if someone is watching me and getting kicks out of seeing me get hurt.) But anyway, that's not the point. The point is my feelings have been hurt. We were all getting ready to go down to this plant Hoshi and Malcolm found which had the Captain's cat treats.  
  
So there we were, all waiting by the shuttle for Dr. Phlox to the Captain go from Sickbay when I said that the people on the planet seemed nice. Then I said maybe we could ask the Captain for some shore leave.   
  
I should have seen the signs. I really should.  
  
As one, the people standing next to me began to slowly move away as if I was carrying some kind of plague. I still didn't get it. Looking round at the people who were moving away I saw Malcolm. So I asked him if he wanted to go to a club with me, once the mission was over.  
  
Well, how was I to know he was still in therapy from the last time?  
  
I really thought that those women were, well, women. I didn't know they were going to rob us and leave us in our blues, tied up. There was no call for Malcolm to scream until he went blue and then hide in the shuttle, whimpering.  
  
He could have just said no.  
  
So, we've arrived. At last, the whole way here all I could hear was this soft whimpering. It was driving me round the bend. Hello, what's that large brown thing that's coming towards us rather fast?  
  
...ow...  
  
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Captain Archer's Log.  
  
Something funny is going on. I mean besides the shuttle flying by it's self down to the planet. (Now that I think about it, Enterprise does fly without a pilot a lot of times. I mean when Trip was floating in space, there was no one flying the ship. I really ought to do something about that... nah, why fix what isn't broken?)  
  
Still, something funny is going on. As soon as we stepped off the shuttle this large... well, club for a better world, flew through the air and hit Trip in the stomach. Malcolm pulled out a phaser and shot it. The club rolled off. I was just bending over to help Trip stand up when the club came flying at him again! He managed to duck it but now he's running round in circles, this club chasing him.  
  
I still feel a little... odd. When I woke up in sickbay, the first thing I saw was Phlox's face. Scary at the best of times. Anyway, I was doing the normal groaning, pain, but I'll live thing when I looked down and noticed that Phlox had somehow forgotten to stitch up my chest wound.  
  
Wait.  
  
I never had a chest wound.  
  
Oh, someone's coming over here, waving his... three arms?  
  
I never had a chest wound so why was my chest cut open?  
  
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Travis Mayweather's Personal Log.  
  
Today: Hoshi was reading over my shoulder and asked how would I be able to tell all my log entries apart when each of them are labeled 'Today' or 'Later Today' or 'Still Today'.  
  
Huh, what does she know.  
  
So. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I was about to write about the club incident. It was so cool! There was this brown club thing chasing after the Commander. Lt. Reed was hunting in the shuttle for some kind of weapon that would stop it. (He had already gone through his normal weapons of phasers, blast guns, nuclear missals and others.) Then this alien with three arms came running up to us.  
  
Amazingly he spoke perfect English.  
  
He came up to us and grabbed the club as it went flying past him. You could tell the poor alien was confused, he was hanging on for dear life as the club went haywire, trying to get at the Commander.  
  
"Does your friend have any metallic devices on his person that are emitting an electronic pulse?" he yelled. The Captain's face went an interesting color. I think it was a red, nah, more of a pale, almost pink, purple.  
  
"He has a micro-chip..." The Captain said. At that moment the alien let go of the club. It slipped from his grasp and flew right at the Commander. There seemed like there was no way he could get out of the way in time. Lt. Reed was too far away.When all of a sudden...  
  
The Commander jumped about 10 feet into the air! It was astonishing. Then he spun round as he landed, a weird silver tube in his hands. As the club turned and came flying towards him as fast as it could, he pressed a little red button. There was a sort of 'hiss' and a green beam of light came out of the tube. It destroyed the club.  
  
Lt. Reed practically started drooling.  
  
The Commander said it was a prototype he was building as a surprise. It was at this point that I began to get wet. It wasn't raining, we were nowhere near any river, lake or stream. I think you can guess how I got wet.  
  
I'm off to have a long, long, long shower.  
  
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
P.A's Personal Log, Password Required.  
  
Password... Yes_Cheese  
  
Woof! Woof, Yap! Woof, bark! Whine, woof. Yip, whine, whine woof. Yap, woof, whine, yip!  
  
End log, new password as... Trip_is_a_jedi_don't_tell  
  
~@~  
  
TBC...  
  
There you have it, please leave a review.   
  
Bye!  
  
~Sethoz 


	5. Memorial Service

Disclaimer: I don't own Enterprise, Star Wars or anything else I've shamelessly ripped off. Thank you so much to everyone who review - hope the giggles have stopped, Drakcir - and also, to my wonderful beta, HopefulNebula who beta-ed it.  
  
No Malcolm log this time... but for the first time ever a Hoshi log! Also a broadcast. Enjoy and please leave a review!  
  
~Logs.~  
  
~Memorial Service~  
  
Sub-Commander T'Pol's Personal log.  
  
The entire away team - minus Lt. Reed - are currently in sickbay. I am uncertain as to what happened, but apparently, they nearly drowned. I was not aware they were near any water so I can not understand the situation.  
  
Also the leader of the planet wishes to buy Lt. Reed for some reason. The leader said that he was a miracle water maker. How illogical. How can Lt. Reed make water? How can any human make water?  
  
I knew the Captain would soon be leaving Sickbay and would therefor comeback onto the bridge which would mean I would be unable to work due to his... uncontrollable excitement for new planets with other life forms that want to kill us.  
  
It is a trait I have noticed in many humans, The Commander, for instance, seems to take delight in getting to know every female he meets... rather well.  
  
So, I took the chance and did all my scans for the next two days, including ones to try and find out what happened to the Captain's cat treats.  
  
Why would he need cat treats? I though his animal was a dog... unless the 'cat' in cat treats means they are made from cats. I must study this further.  
  
From detailed scans I have concluded that Captain Archer's cat treats must have burned up during entry into the planet's atmosphere.  
  
The Captain has just contacted me. He has left sickbay and is on his way to the bridge, ranting about some kind of chest wound. After I told him about the true fate of his cat treats he was quiet for a moment. Then he told me he wishes to have a memorial service for his cat treats later today.  
  
Indeed.  
  
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Travis Mayweather's Personal Log, Supplemental.  
  
Later Today: Wow, what an adventure! We all nearly drowned. If it hadn't been for some quick thinking by The Commander we would have been wetter than... something... wet. Yeah, wetter than something wet. Like... the ocean or as I like to call it, the big blue wet thing.  
  
After a while in Sickbay - Dr. Phlox gave me some nice medication by the way, made the ship full of lots of new colors... Phlox keeps looking at my neck in a strange way. I wonder if he spotted something on it that needed treating?  
  
Anyway, where was I?  
  
Oh yes. After Sickbay some stuff happened... dunno what, I wasn't there. I bet it had something to do with Hoshi, T'Pol and lots of Jelly! Hmmmm.... Jelly... then... oh, pretty lights... all swirly.  
  
No! Must stay on subject... is it just me or am I starting to fade? Oh, no! I'm coming apart at the molecular level!   
  
Wait... the mirror just steamed up. Oops.  
  
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
Captain Archer's Personal Log, Supplemental.  
  
Computer, start...  
  
How the hell did I get a chest wound???  
  
Computer, Pause.  
  
~@~  
  
Commander Tucker's Broadcast to the Whole Ship.  
  
Today is truly a sad day for us all.  
  
It is a day that shall be mourned by every crew member on this ship. Yes, the worst has happened... It's the day we have all feared for so long...  
  
Someone lost the coffee recipe. We are out of coffee, please DO NOT panic, as I am broadcasting this message to you, every available crewman is searching every nook and cranny of this ship, we have highly trained engineers searching the database and chef is currently trying to... wait, that's not what I'm supposed to say? What is it then?  
  
...h. Right. The Cap'n and his stupid tre- wait, is this thing still on? Ahem -  
  
Today is truly a sad day for us all.  
  
It is a day that shall be mourned by every crew member on this ship. Cap'n Archer's cat treats, passed into immortality today.  
  
Everyone must look sad. There will be a memorial service later on today at 15 hundred hours. Attendance is ordered, no excuses will be accepted.  
  
And now, on a lighter note.  
  
The winning lottery numbers are;  
  
7, 12, 17, 21, 33, 48 and the bonus is... 8!  
  
The jackpot was won by one person and the prize is... cat treats?! Okay, who has messed up my notes?  
  
End Broadcast.  
  
~@~  
  
Ensign Hoshi Sato's Personal Log.  
  
The service today was so beautiful! Everyone looked sad and wore black... except for Travis who was grinning like a maniac and wouldn't stop jumping up and down. I passed him a moment ago and he seemed to be singing a little song about coconuts. Not only that but every time he sees either T'Pol or myself he gives us a wink and mouths 'Jelly'.  
  
What is up with that?  
  
So there we were all sitting, looking suitably sad when the Captain entered, supported by the Commander who looked as if he was about to fall asleep. The Captain looked as if he was about to burst into tears, right there and then. But Commander Tucker whispered something into his ear and he seemed to regain some sort of power from some hidden supply. He stepped away from the Commander and stood on the podium, a blown up picture of the cat treats behind him and a small black box beside him that was supposed to have the remains of the deceased only we didn't have any bits left, so Malcolm slipped in some dust.  
  
He's currently lurking at the back, hoping the Captain won't notice him, as he blames Malcolm for the death of his cat treats. Anyway, The Captain took a deep breath and began to talk.  
  
"These Cat treats made this place special... they were the heart and soul of this ship. I-I can't believe that they are really gone... and you! You killed them! You murderer!" screamed the Captain before jumping off the podium and flying at Malcolm.  
  
What followed is something I never want to have to see again.  
  
The Captain reached Malcolm and began to attack him with his hands. Malcolm reacted purely on instinct and fought back.  
  
He knows Kung Fu!  
  
Malcolm totally kicked ass. Then he ran away, muttering something about seeing weird green letters. Oh! Maybe it's a new language I can learn.  
  
The Captain broke down in tears. None of us knew what to do. I would have gone over and tried to cheer him up myself, honest, but I wearing my new top and I didn't want to stain it with Captain tears. They are a menace to get out o f fabric.  
  
In the end, the Commander decided to try and stop him crying. Commander Tucker came up to the crying Captain and placed a hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry... your cat treats are one with the force... force of nature! Yes, nature." he said before breaking into a nervous laugh.  
  
I wonder what he meant?  
  
End Log.  
  
~@~  
  
And that's your lot for this time.   
  
Check back soon for the next part! Please leave a review.  
  
~Sethoz 


End file.
